Orthodox Jewish Wedding advice

[KevinWeatherly]

I have been approached to photograph an orthodox Jewish wedding but I have no knowledge about what is involved. I have plenty of experience with "normal" weddings but I understand that there is a lot more to a Jewish wedding and that it will last much longer. Anyone have any advice on what I would be expected to do if I get the job and what should I avoid?

[David_Buzzard]

The first thing I would do would be sit down with the couple and get them to walk it through with you. Surprises are not good.

The ceremony starts with the signing of the Ketubah, which is a very ornate wedding contract. That's a very important thing to get a shot of. The Ketubah's are usually beautifully illustrated. The main thing about Jewish weddings is that there is a cover over the couple called a 'chuppa', that can really get in the way of the sight lines. You'll probably find that you have to really work to find an angle where you get a clear shot of both the bride and groom. Sometimes when the bride comes down the aisle, the couple will circle the chuppa, and you'll want to get a shot of that. At the end of the wedding, the groom, or sometimes the bride and groom together, will stomp a glass wrapped in a cloth. You want to be close and low for that, or you can't see the glass. There's also a traditional circle dance called a hora, and that is a blast to shoot.

David Buzzard

[Asher_Kelman]

Hi Kevin,

David got you off to an excellent start.

Wait, there's more!

There are all grades of "orthodox". The most pure orthodox are in fact completely segregated so that in the synagogue, men and women will be separated. The women could be in an upstairs gallery, in the same hall but on one side behind a simple divider or in an adjoining room entirely.

The bride, however, will have the same need for pictures. She might want pictures of her, her friends, her family etc done at a rehearsal or on the morning of the wedding. There may well be no picture of the groom carrying the bride over the threshold or posing for that World War II ending kiss!

If the women are really religious, have a female assistant do the moving, touching or adjusting. There may be more modesty than usual.

I would plan to go over all the details of the wedding in advance. Wear a kippa/hat all the time, even indoors. I know it is not the british custom and taking one's hat off is manners in the U.K. however, going W.O. a hat/kippa for in religious circles is considered arrogant. A non-jew who covers his head, on such occaisons is considered to have great respect.

Likewise a female assistant might be aware of the customary dress code which is modest, with at least sleaves to the elbows and no jeans or short skirt, or revealing neckline or hips, if feasable. Braless would indeed be disturbing and your assistant might be given a shawl to cover herself!

Arrange for one person to be given the same schedule you are given of key events in the ceremony. Have then indicate where you are up to so you don't miss the blessings, glass breaking and sharing the wine. Only the bride might be given a ring, since it is symbolic of the transaction of marriage and the legal responsibility to provide for the wife. So don't be surprised.

If the wedding is from a United Synagogue" congregation, the service will be explaine in English and the prayers will be in Hebrew, but the prayer book will have English translation and instructions, so it will be easy to follow. OTH, there may be no prayer book!

In a really orthodox service, the prayer books are entirely in Hebrew, but the ceremony may be in Yiddish (an old version of medieval Germanic language with some Hebrew derived words too). This can really be disorientating!

So you will really need a person assigned to signal the moments for taking pictures.

At the party afterwards, there will be dancing and the groom and maybe the bride too weill be carried on a chair above all the dancers.

If the men are separated, they will have a whole series of fascinating dances, reminiscent of Greek (yes, Zorba) or Russian, that''s right, Cossack dances.

The women may be in another room are separated by a divider and they will have there own dances.

However, "orthodox" could merely mean, not "reform", ie the prayers are in Hebrew, except the prayer for the Queen and Government and the vows. Otherwise, it may seem very similar to a Christian wedding, but without reference to that symbology.

Because of the number of variables, I would allocate two sessions with the couple. One to get all their wishes and the second to finalize your understanding of what they wanted by presenting them a schedule and picture list in writing.

Their job would be to asign a helper/ guide, signaller for you.

If the sexes are segregated, a female assistant is helpful, but not at all essential. As long as you have a camera on you, the fact that you are in the ladies section is of no great consequence in most circumstances.

Good luck!

I hope you have an interesting shoot. Take more cards/ rolls o film than you think you need!

Asher [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[KevinWeatherly]

Asher, that's excellent advice thank you very much. I have only had dealings with the grooms mother so far and she told me that the men and women will be seperated and there will be almost no touching and certainly no kiss! I think your idea of having someone allocated to me sounds good, my wife assists me so she does all the touching anyway.
When it comes to albums what style of layout would you recommend, traditional or journalist?

[Asher_Kelman]

Hi Kevin,

So you have the real thing!! Send me a pm on the family names and see if I can get info from my contacts in london, LOL

When is the wedding?

There are a number of small dinners, (at least 10 men, maybe up to 30 men...perhaps women too) after the wedding where many guests will be again invited. Perhaps some who couldn't be at the wedding for some reason. Here they will celebrate 7 blessings for the bride and groom. It is called "Sheva Brachot" or Sheva Brochus" if they are Ashkenazi Orthodox. You may be able to book extra shot then or get more orders then if you have the photos ready.

There are many sub-ceremonies such as the "Seating of the bride" with women only, that could be photographed.

If you are with your wife, it is as if you are not there in most cases.

So I would take the time to explore with the mothers and couple seaprately and /together all the key points you could photograph.

Having your wife able if needed to do pics herself and you to go off to men's activity, you have the fluidity to adapt to the nuances of their traditions.

I can't stress how important it is to go over several times with them the key events and find out about appropriate dress and let them know how you will accomodate them.

Bring along several styles of album.

I would also schedule an appointment with your helper and go over all the shots with him and maybe a lady helper for your wife, so you are not stuck, out of your element not knowing what is hapenning next.

In spite of all I have written, you will find a lot of similarities to the main parts of weddings you have attended, but be prepared for a more "Fiddler on the Roof" experience as far as dancing is concerned.

For sure, you will have a lot of fun.

By agreeing beforehand exactly what you will include, to the best of your ability, and putting it in writing, you will be able to come up with a package price for taking the pictures and X prints and Y large prints delivered by Z days.

If you don't have it all typed out and have the people assigned to help you and your wife, you may not be able to easily meet their expectations and you may spend a lot of effort for pictures that are not needed.

The images should reflect loyalty, happiness, health but some essence of humility. There is no sexuality, flirtatious insinuations or passion. Just a celebration of life and thanking god for the abundance that allows them to wed.

The man may be shown by himself, if he is a scholar, with a talmudic book, studying or in his library etc, depending on your understanding of what they might like. You are both being helpful but also selling your services.

You may be able to arrange separate pictures of him and his colleagues/family well before the wedding.

The same with the brides friends and family.

In this case, if possible, try to get some of these groups out of the way before the wedding. remeber, some people will have flown in from other countries. So consider taking group pictures at their hotel.

If you appear with a Kippa/Yalmuka or hat, they will be comfortable for you taking more pictures of them in their own suroundings.

Remember, it is not good etiquette to remove your hat/kippa/yalmuka when you go indoors!\

You will do well, I'm sure, if you are able to orgainize everything in advance.

They will be looking for joy in your pictures, not whether or not the lower right corner is in focus!

Good luck, (ie "Mazel Tov" is what you say when ever you meet with any of the families involved!)

Asher [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[Ben_Rubinstein]

See www.chesner.co.uk, he is the UK's premier Orthodox wedding photographer and he has some full weddings up on his site.